December 14

Yesterday morning, I got mad at Max because he was being whiny.  I yelled at him and put him in time out.  Then I saw the horrible report of what was unfolding in Connecticut.  My heart was broken.  20 children were the innocent victims of a lunatic.  They hadn't done a single thing to deserve to die yesterday.  They were children.  Pure, innocent children with their whole lives ahead of them and that opportunity became impossible within seconds.  I thought of those parents who sent their kids to school that day never imagining that it would be the last time they would see their precious child.  And I felt awful for getting upset at Max for something so silly.  I was away from him for most of the day but I found myself constantly thinking of him and how I couldn't imagine my life without him.  I suddenly became thankful for the whines because that meant he was here with me.  

Tragedies such as these are things I have never, nor will ever understand.  I don't think God "let this happen" and I don't blame Him.  I don't think God abandoned any of those innocent lives yesterday.  I believe He was right there with them.  He was there holding them and comforting them and not letting them feel any of the pain the gunman set out to inflict on them.  People want to ask "Where was God?" but I am trusting that He was there the whole time. He said "I will never leave you nor forsake you" and I think He has proven time and time again that He is a man of His Word. 

My thoughts have been consumed with this horrific situation since yesterday.  My heart is so heavy for these families who have lost their loved ones.  I've prayed prayers of forgiveness for feeling relieved that it wasn't me who had to deal with this first hand.  I've prayed prayers of thankfulness for God's angels that have charge over His children.  I've prayed prayers of comfort and peace for those families and also those of us who are feeling a little scared of what is going on in this world.  I have prayed for the gunman because he had to have been in a dark, dark place to have done something like this.  

I'll conclude this post the same way I concluded each of these prayers: God, I thank you that you are still God and are in complete control of this world.  Allow us to see that You are here in this situation and every situation we face. Amen